Act Like a Kid (insight two) – “Do I have to?!?!”

Act like a kid – some thoughts on personal discipline. Back in late November I wrote my first post in the “Act like a kid” series. I guess I can’t really call it a series yet if I’ve only authored one post under this theme…and that it’s taken me more than two months to pen a follow-up. This is precisely why I have given this post the “Do I have to?!?!” sub-title, since clearly, when it comes to writing regularly, I’m still like a kid who’s been avoiding their homework.

If this is your first foray into my blog, it’s about my own personal pursuits in finding more wellness and balance in life. I write about applying simple and basic knowledge that’s readily available to all of us. Think basic stuff like, eating well, moving your body/staying (or getting) active, managing stress and emotions, and finding pursuits that provide meaning and purpose. This blog is also about summarizing some of the changes I’ve made (e.g., sleeping more, walking and meditating daily, taking a prolonged break from alcohol) and how these seem to be working based on my first-hand experiences.

Getting back to the “Do I have to?!?!” theme of this piece, the reason I haven’t posted anything in a while isn’t from lack of wanting, but rather the simple fact of procrastination…not so much from laziness but instead, my own inability to focus/refine what the next topic should be about. So, in keeping with the theme of my blog, I realized there was no time like the present to make an attempt at organizing my thoughts and learnings into the next update.

Recently I read a couple of books by the author Ryan Holiday:

• “The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph” (Portfolio 2014)
• “Ego is the Enemy” (Portfolio 2016).

If you’re not familiar with Ryan, one of the things he’s become known for is being a bit of a renaissance person when it comes to Stoicism and Stoic Philosophy, as well as Stoicism’s applicability to modern life. Feel free to Google these terms on your own time (if you feel so inclined) but basically, my take on Stoicism is that it’s about living one’s life with purpose, direction, clarity, courage and honour. Also, they (the Stoics) readily acknowledged the reality that, from the moment we are born, we are inching closer to death. Surprisingly, they weren’t killjoys (at least not in my view) but rather, it’s the acceptance of death that provides a pretty good catalyst for focusing one’s attention on what is (and isn’t) important in every moment we are given in our life.

As for our “Ego”, well it’s that part of us that requires recognition, feels entitled, and believes (incorrectly) in our own superiority/specialness. A few of the (many) ways the ego manifests itself are:

• fishing for compliments
• humble bragging
• curated social media posts
• the need to win (at anything)
• needing to be seen as right.

Conjure up what humility means to you (or read the definition), then imagine the opposite and, bingo, you’ve landed on ego. In Holiday’s book about the ego, he cites many famous high-ego people who have been recognized publicly for achieving great successes and yet these same people suffered terribly on the inside, and their lives often ended in great defeat or misery (think Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Howard Hughes).

Thankfully, Holiday also references many other figures who were not highly ego-driven and yet had great success and/or great positive influences on society. Apparently, Benjamin Franklin was one such person. It’s been written that, on the night when Franklin’s factory caught fire (and it became clear that all inside it would be lost), he didn’t wallow in self-pity. Nope. Apparently, he called for a friend to run and get his family to come immediately. Franklin was not seeking the comfort of his loved ones, but instead because “they’re never gone a see another fire like this in their lifetime!” Incidentally, the loss of the factory wasn’t a life-defining obstacle nor did his ego drag him into the depths of a victim’s mindset. Rather, most of Franklin’s successes were achieved after the fire.

Returning to the theme personal discipline, for me, writing is something that I enjoy and it’s also an exercise that forces me to sharpen my thoughts and concentration skills. The process of writing and publishing these works (albeit short blog posts) is a method of confronting my own ego. Holiday talks about how ego-driven people have a strong desire to be something/be someone great (i.e., to be seen, recognized, commended, cheered etc.) and he contrasts this with people who have tamed their ego; these individuals want to do something great/something impactful for its own sake – they don’t crave or require the flattery and attention that the ego needs.

So, getting back to the two Ryan Holiday books cited above, I’ve come to see that my ego was the obstacle getting in my way of writing the next post for this blog. Feeling the need (and my ego’s insecurity) to write content that would be viewed favourably by readers was getting in the way of just sharing a few insights I’d gleaned from these books. I had to refocus and remember that this blog is about my journey towards finding more balance and wellness in my life. Sometimes this journey is about nutrition, at other times it covers physical pursuits, and in the case of this post, it’s about applying a few Stoic principles to my daily life.

In each post I strive to distill my learnings in a clear, coherent and (hopefully) at times humorous manner. That’s it – no more and no less. Thanks as always for taking the time to drop by and read this post!